You Matter
You Matter
Cabin Pressure
Suzie Bichovsky-Thomas • Mar 31, 2014
“Life is 10% what you make it and 90% how you take it.”
~Irving Berlin
“Miss Malarkey, you shouldn’t bite your nails.”
~Random child from Testing Miss Malarkey
by Judy Finchler
(If you are already familiar with this fabulous book, check out this clever reenactment
!)
Entering this season of The Test, I was determined to keep my cool, maintain my mellow, and take the random advice of the fictional child from above, the real wisdom of a sage one (“Miss- go home. For your sanity!”), and a blogger
who really understands the impact active monitoring can have on your psyche.
Not invested in The Test? That’s OK. There must be something in your life that gives you pause- grocery shopping, emptying a dishwasher, commuting to work, presenting to your colleagues or clients. Regardless of the task, our perspective impacts our reality.
I approached this as I do most things- with an inquiry. “How do the skills honed in active monitoring better prepare me for the real world?” It hit me hard on day 2- Flight Attendant.
Stay with me!
- When I walk the rows distributing mints, I am demonstrating the same stealth and grace as the flight crew when they distribute nuts, trail mix, or pretzels. Even if you don’t see me approaching, I leave one behind for you for when you wake up from your nap. Not nap! Mental grazing! I return to collect your trash in my ziplock bag with the same ninja-like skills, evading your eyes lest you think I am cuing you in anyway as I thank you for not littering.
- A goal of active monitoring is to ensure the correct section is being worked on and this must be done without absorbing the content. Quick scan, correct section, move on! Rinse, wash, repeat. This transfers over very nicely to walking the aisle and ensuring your seatbelt is fashioned. I don’t want to see what’s on your Kindle, if you are playing Words with Friends, or what websites you frequent. Just a scan of the belt, please.
- Speaking of electronic devices, I have mastered collecting them and ensuring they are turned off by fear of fine or having permission to search your photos if otherwise found on your person. Yes…your photos. On a plane, I will enforce that you turn off your electronic device until the captain says otherwise. I don’t care if you are Alec Baldwin or what the dudes from MythBusters say. Rules are rules! I imagine I’ll be best friends with the sky marshal. Don’t make me get her!
- I’m awesome at group announcements. “Ladies and gentlemen, the captain has turned off the seatbelt sign. You are free to move about the cabin but we will purposefully hit a big pocket of turbulence in five minutes to remind you to be appreciative of your seatbelt. In fact, don’t get up at all. We just want you to feel like you have some semblance of control.”
- Answer bubbles must be completely filled in, dark, and not skipped. There can be no stray marks. Technically, there is nothing I can do about this one but on a plane, if my passengers are filling out paperwork for immigration, I can ensure that they fill in the correct information. Can you image the chaos if they filled it in wrong? “Sir, what’s the purpose of your visit?” “Business.” “Sir, you indicated pleasure on your paperwork.” “I meant to say pleasure. I used my flight points from my business to pay for my pleasure based trip.” “Sir, are you saying you falsified your documents? Security…” Thank goodness I can help my passengers overlook an innocent mistake that could jeopardize their whole future. I mean, vacation.
- I can spot a security violation a moment before it happens. I can sense when someone’s eyeballs are going to look slightly to the left, to the right, up, down, or straight ahead. I can tell the difference between a mouth opening to sneeze, yawn, burp, sigh, or bust out a lyric. Before you can say sky marshal, I use proximity control to Shut That Down. I run you a tissue before you even know you have to sneeze! Ever been on a plane where the person in front of you is breathing too heavy? I can stop that Before It Begins.
- Reading directions out loud in front of a group is my thing. On one day, the directions had approximately 900 words. I read them as best as I could with focused attention but midway, in my brain, I asked, “Did I just read these words or am I talking about my grocery list?” It’s important to communicate safety information to your passengers. Did you hear about the rapping flight attendant ? He was well received and folks really paid attention. Maybe I could jazz up testing directions…“Remember your pencils need to be style number two. Erase all your stray marks, whatever you do.” Maybe there’s a reason why they are 900 words long…
- In line to turn in my testing crate, sliding it along the table, waiting for the point person to sign off on my “ticket” and let me pass through security, I envy the powerhouse flight crew that whizzes by with their suitcases and stilettos. They are like a mini army! I’m tempted to put my shoes in my testing crate on the last day. Tempted.
- Manners. I have them. “Can I go to my locker to get my sweater?” Not until the captain turns off the seatbelt sign, I’m afraid. “I don’t like this breakfast!” I’m sorry but that’s all we are serving today. Thank you for understanding. “May I go to the bathroom?” As soon as the other passenger returns. I apologize that the drink cart is in your way. “What does this word mean?” I’m sorry, I can not assist you with that but if you turn to page 58 in your SkyMall magazine, you’ll see that we have a lovely garden gnome for sale.
- I’m all about test security and confidentiality. Unlike these whistleblowers , I will keep my yap shut. (Except for the coffee/tea drinking water thing. Gross!)
I acknowledge the intent of accountability and appreciate the hard work of my colleagues who have organized and executed The Test. As we come to the close of the season, let’s celebrate surviving and returning to the land of normalcy, where we hope the weather will be a balmy 40-70 degrees. It’s all about perspective. I may not be the pilot of the plane but I can work to keep my passengers content and comfortable in the cabin. In the event of an emergency, I will put my oxygen mask on before helping others. (Unless it’s an evacuation…then, I have to collect the tests first and secure them before we can run…)
Model contributed by “Boy” Friebolin (the young one, not the old one)
There’s something about being outside surrounded or embraced by nature.
What’s a nature element that really speaks to you?
It could be the moment you notice the dark green of a treetop touching the vibrant blue of the sky.
I’m awful at business growth, meaning- I don’t post when algorithms say I should. I don’t “buy” likes or followers or traffic to my site. I post all things related to burnout prevention on Fridays which used to be one of the worst days to do so.
I got a phone call on Wednesday night with a funeral date for a family member that passed in March.
During that conversation, we once again explored the path of origin. The surviving spouse got it from work (the area was an epicenter of contagion before we all knew what’s going on). The workplace was a school. It spread like wildfire (again, before anyone knew what it was).
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